Things to Watch for Versus the Eagles

The third preseason game is the dress rehearsal for the regular season (I just thought of that). The Packers will be throwing their best of the best out there for three quarters like our legendary starting offensive line of Don Barclay, Lane Taylor, Corey Linsley, Josh Walker and Bryan Bulaga.

Actually what the 3rd preseason game means is that we only need to get through 8 quarters of bad football and then the real boys can play.

1. Seeing How the Packers Match Up Versus the Pac-12 All-stars

Chip Kelly has done everything to turn the Eagles into the Pac-12 all-star team so it will be interesting to see how the Packers match up. If Kelly couldn’t get someone from the Pac-12, he tried to get college all-stars like Sam Bradford and Tim Tebow. If this were 2007 and he was still in college he would have an excellent team. Unfortunately for him, it’s 2015 and the Eagles will suck.

2. How Many Sacks Will Jayrone Elliott Have?

I know it’s only preseason but Jayrone Elliott is the best defensive end of all time. I’m putting the number of sacks at 5 but only because I think he might only play a half. I’ll be breaking out this image quite a bit.

jayrone elliott

3. Olivia Harlan

Watch. Just watch.

4. Woodman’s Commercials

Carumba, this is the only time of year I see Phil Woodman and his jacked up pants. He will be on TV pimping paper towel or bottled water or some other dumb shit. He now has his son with him. Addressing the elephant in the room; his son is either adopted or Mrs. Woodman has some ‘splaining to do. Right?

5. Will Chip Kelly Be Impressed With All the White People in Green Bay?

Ask anyone on the Eagles, or at least who used to play for the Eagles, and is black, and they will tell you Chip Kelly is a racist who is trying to rid the Eagles of black players. Well luckily for him, he should feel right at home in Green Bay.