Three Takeaways from the Patriots Preseason Game

Even though #beardmode is only in preseason mode, it still proved strong enough to easily handle the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots. I have three takeaways from the first preseason game… The Boston Globe has five but they’re a media conglomerate so screw them.

Janeane Garofalo Was No Match for the Packers Defense

Admittedly, I’ve never been a fan of Janeane Garofalo. I just don’t find her very funny. Last night she proved she is no better at quarterbacking than she is at comedianing. She took alot of sacks (that’s what she said) and was even picked off by a guy named Gunter. Now when I picture a guy named Gunter, I picture a strong willed German with suspenders and manly beard. A quick Google search however returned these results…

Google search for Gunter

Here is more on Janeane’s performance… oh wait, it’s Jimmy Garoppolo… ignore this first item.

Packers Offense Versus Dish Fast Forward Feature

Either the Packers offense has to slow down their tempo or Dish’s fast forward feature needs to switch from a 30 second skip to a 25 second skip. I like to cruise through preseason games using this feature but I always miss the beginning of the play. It was very frustrating.

The 14th World Championship in the Bag

I don’t care that it’s preseason. One look at this guy pretty much seals the deal.