The Minnesota Vikings suck. Here’s a whole bunch of reasons why us Packers fans hate them.
10. Team Colors
Purple? You can’t look manly in purple.The color scheme actually works for you because that color is as soft as the team is. Whenever I see their jersey, I feel I will soon be serenaded by John Tesh while I sit on a couch in the ladies room. It is a fitting color as purple is the color you turn when you choke.
9. They Treat Division Championships Like Super Bowl Titles
It always annoyed me growing up when they had these ‘division championship’ banners. Who the hell cares about division championships? It’s like trying to land a job, getting a first interview and saying ‘mission accomplished’. Whether you get the job or not is irrelevant because you just wanted to be considered… just like the Vikings
8. Picking Up Our Trash
More on this at #4 and #3. This one isn’t so much why we hate them, just more of why we find them annoying. They’re that neighbor that goes out Wednesday morning and sifts through your trash before the garbage men come. Then you look in their backyard and notice they have your old rusty lawn furniture. Darren Sharper, Javon Walker, Ryan Longwell and Robert Ferguson just to name a few.
7. Herschel Walker Trade With The Cowboys
Much like above, we actually like this move because it doomed them to mediocrity for many years but at the same time it also made the Cowboys a powerhouse that the Packers were unable to overcome until the late 90’s. Without that trade, the Packers may have very well been to 4 Super Bowls during the 90’s instead of two. I guess the Vikings thinking was ‘the best offense is a good defense’.
6. Paul Allen
The voice of the Vikings. I could watch The Simpsons on a movie theater screen and not see this big of a homer. When talking about the Vikings he constantly uses the term ‘we’. Actually Paul, you have nothing to do with the success or lack thereof the team. All you can do is irrationally describe all of their failures in a very loud tone for all of us to play back and enjoy.
5. The Horn/Viking Guy
The Vikings should be commended for their hiring of the homeless (looks that way at least) but this guy is annoying. I have a feeling that he’s got a van with a sign for free candy on the side of it. I know vikings fans aren’t the smartest so I understand the need for a horn to let them know when to cheer, but it’s overdone. You don’t need to celebrate after stopping someone for a 3 yard gain, who are you Nick Barnett?
4. Ryan Longwell
He’s one of the rusty chairs with the leg missing from #8 above. I’m not quite sure how a kicker can be a prima donna, but he is. No kick that he’s missed has ever been his fault. It’s either the snap or the holder or the 1 mph wind. Playing in Lambeau is tough, too tough for Longwell so he went to Minnesota where they have very low expectations. I wonder how he enjoys the food in Minneapolis?
3. Brett Favre
We hated the Vikings long before Favre went there but he added new spice to the rivalry. It was obvious that he wanted to play for the Vikings long before he ever went there. Thankfully he turned into good ole Brett just in time to ruin the Vikings chance of appearing in a Super Bowl. However, even though he didn’t know it at the time, he secretly helped the Packers for the foreseeable future by absolutely destroying the Vikings organization from the inside out. It will take them a decade to recover from that debacle
2. The Metrodome
Just another example of them being soft. Even if us Packers fans don’t like Bears fans, we at least respect them. This is football in the midwest. It’s meant to be played outdoors. Thankfully this is one of the reasons that they haven’t been to a Super Bowl since the 70’s because they gave up their home field advantage for comfort. I’m actually surprised it took that long for the roof to cave in. At least when/if they build a new stadium they will save cost and room by not having to build a trophy room.
1. Their Fans
I don’t understand how they have the audacity to cheer for the Vikings. What’s to cheer for? They act so cocky like their team has actually won a championship. They wear there purple jerseys with blonde braids and pray and hope for another division championship so they can call that year a success. From now on you get to talk one minute of trash for every Lombardi trophy you have. Ready? Go.