Week 4 Game Predictions | 2015 NFL Season

My human, Jason, made up some ground last week but remains in the basement overall. On the brightside, Jason, Samson and Mascot are a combined 9-0 when picking Packers games this year. Plus, this week’s pick has the first predicted tie. Can you find it? Well, can you?

Highlights from Last Week’s Picks

Samson correctly picked the Bears getting shut out by the Seahawks

Jason correctly guessed the team score for the Bengals, Jets, Panthers, Dolphins and Packers

Last Week

Jason 10-6

Samson 9-7

Mascot 7-9

Season Standings

  1. Samson 30-18
  2. Mascot 28-30
  3. Jason 25-23



Jason Samson Mascot
Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers Ravens 27 Steelers 13 Steelers 28 Ravens 19 Ravens 19 Steelers 16
I just figure that Baltimore has to win eventually. Right? (crickets) Mike Tomlin’s beard will get them through this rough patch without Big Ben I’m sure a raven has been perched on a steel beam before and that’s kind of dominant
New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (London) Jets 23 Dolphins 3 Jets 23 Dolphins 16 Jets 31 Dolphins 8
10:1 the Dolphins tell Joe Philbin to swim home after this game in London The Harvard beard and Nick Mangold will be unstoppable overseas A jet would bomb a bunch of Dolphins to smitherines
Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts Jaguars 26 Colts 20 Colts 28 Jaguars 10 Jaguars 20 Colts 19
We get to watch that one quarterback that was a terrible top 5 pick? We also get to watch Blake Bortles. I don’t know how, but Andrew Luck’s beard looks stupid, not manly. That’s probably why they’ve been sucking so bad. I think I saw that on discovery channel once
New York Giants at Buffalo Bills Bills 20 Giants 17 Bills 26 Giants 13 Giants 19 Bills 17
I’m guessing a team from New York wins… and the Bills are the only team from New York Neither team has very good beards but I just have feeling Rex’s would be better than Coughlin’s if they each had one. I think a giant would beat Buffalo Bill
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Bucaneers Panthers 34 Buccaneers 13 Buccaneers 31 Panthers 21 Panthers 23 Buccaneers 10
This may be the worst divisional rivalry in the NFL That Buccaneers mascot is a bad ass If the same number of panthers fought the same number of pirates, I think the panthers would maul them
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins Redskins 30 Eagles 19 Eagles 22 Redskins 19 Eagles 35 Redskins 21
Sadly, Bobby Griffin the turd is probably still the best quarterback on either roster A lot of players on the All Beard team playing in this game… should be a good one I get nervous any time I have to pick a game with the Redskins. I feel PC Principal is right around the corner about to check my privilege
Oakland Raiders at Chicago Bears Raiders 33 Bears 12 Raiders 27 Bears 20 Bears 21 Raiders 20
I would say that Chicago is having a fire sale but I think referencing ‘Chicago’ and ‘fire’ together in the same context is still too soon I don’t really have a dog in this fight but I just think Raiders’ fans are more likely to have nice beards Bears would probably defeat raiders but one thing’s for sure; there would be a lot of blood shed
Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons Falcons 24 Texans 9 Falcons 34 Texans 17 Texans 28 Falcons 23
The Schaub bowl. Falcons won that trade and they win this game. I’m taking Dan ‘methhead’ Quinn all day and twice on Sunday’s versus the Bill “Buttchin’ O’Brien Texans are notorious falcon hunters
Kansas City Chiefs at Cincinnati Bengals Chiefs 24 Bengals 20 Bengals 31 Chiefs 16 Chiefs 29 Bengals 20
I’ll shave my beard if the Chiefs don’t win this game Wait, what did Jason say? Oh no he won’t There’s nothing in the history books about Indians eating tigers but I’m sure it happened
Cleveland Browns at San Diego Chargers Chargers 37 Browns 6 Chargers 33 Browns 15 Chargers 57 Browns 2
A battle of the two cities that have gone the longest without winning a championship Weddle and Allen get the bolts back on track A lightning bolt would electrocute the color brown
Green Bay Packers at San Francisco 49ers Packers 42 49ers 24 Packers 37 49ers 19 Packers 31 49ers 27
First of two wins in Santa Clara this season for the Pack I’m not a homer but the Packers honestly do have the best team of beards in the league Sure a 49er would have the gold but like Arby’s; We have the meats
St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals Cardinals 35 Rams 17 Rams 17 Cardinals 16 Cardinals 20 Rams 20
The most underrated coach versus the most overrated coach. This should be good. .500 Fisher always beats teams he shouldn’t… because of the power of the goat I don’t think either species gives a shit about the other
Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos Broncos 24 Vikings 14 Broncos 30 Vikings 20 Vikings 31 Broncos 24
Peyton Manning has lost a lot of arm strength but he still isn’t as bad as Teddy ‘Hail Nancy’ Bridgewater Vikings didn’t pay Ragnar…. That’s bad juju A viking would kill and then molest a bronco
Dallas Cowboys at New Orleans Saints Saints 22 Cowboys 20 Cowboys 27 Saints 21 Cowboys 16 Saints 14
This will be like watching replacement players #scabs The Cowboys’ beards will power them past the Saints Waylon Jennings never wrote a song about growing up to be saints
Detroit Lions at Seattle Seahawks Seahawks 20 Lions 14 Lions 27 Seahawks 15 Lions 29 Seahawks 23
The real question is: will the one quarter of good offense that Seattle plays on a weekly basis be enough to beat the Lions I am Jason’s mane. I like the Lions Watch what happens when a seagull gets too close to a lion. Like most Seahawks fans, it ain’t pretty