10 Best Things About Playing for the Vikings

I know what you’re thinking, “Samson, bruh, there’s nothing good about playing for the Vikings”. I disagree. As Malcolm Gladwell’s book David vs Goliath taught us, sometimes what may seem to be a disadvantage may actually be an advantage. I layout 10 reasons that it is great to play for the Vikings counting down from 10 to 1 a la David Letterman style.

10. Ragnar the Vikings Mascot

Okay sure, he’s probably a registered sex offender but at least he did register. Also, very nice beard. Game recognize game.

9. Low Expectations

Don’t worry if you don’t do well this year, it’s not like you play for a storied franchise with double digit world championships. When you play in Minnesota, making it to the playoffs is like winning a Super Bowl. Otherwise just play and get paid.

8. There’s an Ikea Nearby

Unfortunately, they don’t sell trophy cases at their store in Bloomington. No one bought them 🙁

7. No Tan Lines on your Fingers

No jewelry = no tan lines

6. Wearing Team Apparel Gives You the Perfect Opportunity to Go up to Women and ask “Are You as Horny As I Am”?

Everyone needs a good pickup line.

5. Plenty of Opportunity to Be the Best Player in Franchise History

They’ve had like 6 good players in the history of their franchise. Hell Teddy Bridgewater is already their 3rd best quarterback all time and he sucks.

4. If You Get Arrested, You’re Just One of the Guys

No team has more arrests in the last 5 years.

3. Being Neighbors with North Dakota, South Dakota and Iowa Makes Minnesota Really Seem Happening

It’s all relative.

2. January’s Off

Unlike the Packers who have to play late into January and February, Vikings players get to start the offseason early. #familytime

1. You’ve Probably Played for the Packers

Brandon Bostick, Greg Jennings, DuJuan Harris, Ryan Longwell, Darren Sharper, Brett Favre, Charles Johnson, Desmond Bishop and the list goes on and on.

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