5 Best Things About Jordy Nelson Tearing his ACL

Samson! have you been hittin the sauce? Are you on crazy pills again? How can there be positives about Jordy tearing his ACL? Well just as cow poop helps trees grow, this manure pile we’ve been dealt will help us build a forest that would make the Huli people jealous. So what is so great about Jordy tearing his ACL?  Let me tell you.

5. Wheat and Beef Prices Will Drop

With Jordy having a whole bunch of time off now, he should have plenty of time to help out on his parents farm. If he’s as good at cutting wheat and rounding up cattle as he is at playing wide receiver, we will all be enjoying quite a feast this year.

4. All the Jared Abbrederis Fans Have a Glimmer of Hope

I knew when the Packers drafted Jared Abbredaris that it would be trouble. All of the Badgers fans up here think he is the second coming of Bill Schroeder even though he’s been hurt more often than not. Well now, with Jordy being done for the year, one more receiver spot is open and all of the Badger homer’s will be clamoring for that spot to go to Jared.

3. Someone Else Will Get a Chance to Torch the Bears

Jordy has made a mockery out of the Bears defense over the years. It would be nice to see Adams, Montgomery or Janis get a chance to burn them for a change. I’m sure Bears fans would appreciated the variety as well.

2. That Will Teach Him to Endorse Wahl

I hate to say it but I think he’s recent endorsements for Wahl grooming products may have did him in. There is no bigger threat to #beardmode than Wahl and Jordy rolled the dice. You reap what you sow. Next time you may want to endorse Beardbrand.

1. Winning the Super Bowl Will be That Much Sweeter

Remember in 2010 when there was like 20 guys on injured reserve including like 10 starters? Well what did we do that year? And Vikings, Bears, Lions, Seahawks, 49ers and Cowboys fans will have no more excuses. Vince, you’re coming home.