Hi fellow beard lovers, Jason here. After a crushing overtime playoff defeat at the hands of the Cardinals I did the noble yet painful thing of shaving Samson, the playoff beard. Were their tears? Sure. But fear not, just like Frosty the Snowman comes back every winter, Samson will be back for next season.
For now, I would like to share some of my experiences since shaving the beard.
As I prepared for work on Monday after the loss, I looked in the mirror at my freshly shaved face and immediately lost all confidence. Things didn’t get any better either as no one at work recognized me. I heard a few guys snickering and I even overheard one of the ask the other, “hey, who’s the new fat chick”? I don’t blame them though, had my hair been longer, I would have been a deadringer for Rosie O’Donnell.
Later that same week, I went shopping for a new car. First, I was ignored when standing in the showroom. When I finally did talk to a salesman, he asked if my husband would be joining me. I let him know that I was indeed a man and he didn’t believe me. He kept asking me which colors I liked, spent way too much time on showing me the vanity mirror, how my purse could fit into the center console and even talked about roadside service in case I break down on the side of the road and need a tire changed. When it came to discuss price, he came back at full MSRP. It was terrible. I will go back when Samson grows back and get a real price.
I Want My Beard Back
After shaving my beard, I have a new found respect for women. It sucks when you’re having a bad day and people ask if you’re on your period. I know Samson can be a chauvinist but I will pass along the struggles that women face and try to get him to change his views. It has been a terrible month for my face since the loss in Arizona/