Week 7 Game Predictions | 2015 NFL Season

Back to it this week with all the information you need to call your bookie in time for Thursday Nights game. Strong showing by all three last week but particularly by Mascot who correctly predicted 11 of 14 games and only missed on the Titans, Chargers and Giants.

Last Week

Mascot 11-3

Samson 10-4

Jason 8-6


Season Standings

  1. Samson 55-36
  2. Jason 53-38
  3. Mascot 50-41
Jason Samson Mascot
Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49ers Seahawks 30 49ers 10 49ers 27 Seahawks 24 49ers 24 Seahawks 20
Ah, a meeting of the two flashes in the pan. Meanwhile Green Bay keeps winning. Sure, many of the Seahawks players have great beards but I think Russell Wilson went and pissed off God, who has the greatest beard of all time, and now the Seahawks are doomed Ain’t got no time for couple of gulls, I’m huntin gold bitch
Buffalo Bills at Jacksonville Jaguars (London) Jaguars 19 Bills 17 Bills 38 Jaguars 21 Bills 27 Jaguars 12
I feel like Rex Ryan is just repeating phrases from his stint with the Jets. Get some new material I don’t know how an owner like Shad Khan can have such an awesome mustache yet such a shitty football team I think to class things up a bit, Buffalo should change their names to the Buffalo Williams.
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions Lions 31 Vikings 21 Vikings 34 Lions 27 Lions 26 Vikings 20
Even during their bye week, the Packers will increase their lead in the division Ragnar got canned. Deandre Levy is out for the season. What is this world coming to?  I guess I’ll take the Vikings and their biker mustache They used to use lions to control the viking population
New Orleans Saints at Indianapolis Colts Colts 38 Saints 27 Bears 24 Lions 16 Saints 28 Colts 26
The ‘onside kick’ versus the ‘fake punt’. Also two terrible, overpaid quarterbacks. Colts win and get one step closer to the playoff participation banner Mark Ingram will run all over the Colts Sometimes I wonder is the Saints nickname is supposed to be ironic
Pittsburgh Steelers at Kansas City Chiefs Chiefs 27 Steelers 24 Steelers 31 Chiefs 17 Chiefs 21 Steelers 14
I don’t think the Chiefs are as bad as their record indicates… then again maybe they are. I don’t really care. Why won’t Andy just grow out the full beard instead of the walrus stache? Some chiefs would say that all white people are stealers (rimshot)
Houston Texans at Miami Dolphins Dolphins 20 Texans 10 Dolphins 28 Texans 14 Dolphins 23 Texans 9
For what it’s worth, this game will have no implications on any of the playoff races at the end of the year Dan Campbell has to leave immediately after the game because his Nickleback cover band is playing at 5:00. I’ve never known Texans to be astute swimmers
New York Jets at New England Patriots Patriots 42 Jets 24 Jets 30 Patriots 28 Jets 35 Patriots 31
I can’t believe the Jets look like a competent team and they actually should have hope for the future… but not for this Sunday. Hey Belichick, you aren’t facing a fake punt failing wide receiver or butt fumbling quarterback. You’re facing the Harvard Beard and you have no chance Today, many of our patriots fly jets. Oh the irony.
Cleveland Browns at St. Louis Rams Browns 16 Rams 34 Rams 24 Browns 21 Rams 35 Browns 13
The Rams left Cleveland and the Browns left Cleveland. But the Browns came back and soon the Rams will leave St. Louis. This will be a close one. Neither team has a beard advantage but both coaches have goatees. It’s a coin flip and I’m going with the home team A ram would buck the shit out of the color brown
Atlanta Falcons at Tennessee Titans Falcons 34 Titans 17 Falcons 42 Titans 30 Titans 25 Falcons 21
The Falcons cupcake schedule continues. I think they beat this cupcake though, unlike last weke The Methhead will get the Falcons rolling again, even though his quarterback does look like a lesbian Titans are children of uranus. Falcons are assholes
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Washington Redskins Redskins 20 Buccaneers 14 Redskins 31 Buccaneers 27 Buccaneers 37 Redskins 23
See Dolphins v Texans from above and insert here I’ll take the Redskins all day and twice on Sunday. This team is just about to hit beardmode in full effect It would have been ironic had they played this game on Columbus Day
Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers Raiders 29 Chargers 26 Chargers 34 Raiders 14 Chargers 41 Raiders 32
If Rivers throws 100 times he will throw for 900 yards… and still lose I wasn’t surprised Keenan Allen had such a good game last week. Have you seen his beard? A lightning bolt would destory a ship and make a raider shit their pants
Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants Cowboys 27 Giants 26 Giants 45 Cowboys 21 Giants 28 Cowboys 24
Eli will do something stupid to lose this game just like the last time they met Ben McAdoo’s mustache was pointed out to me this past week and now the Giants will never lose agin They like things big in Texas… be careful what you wish for
Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers Panthers 35 Eagles 24 Panthers 19 Eagles 13 Eagles 24 Panthers 23
In a matchup of an overachieving team versus and underachieving team, I’ll take the former. Call it a hunch. I wasn’t surprised Greg Olsen scored the game winning touchdown versus the Seahawks. His beard tells his whole story. Panthers would probably destroy an Eagle but Eagles get points for being patriotic
Baltimore Ravens at Arizona Cardinals Cardinals 29 Ravens 17 Cardinals 34 Ravens 21 Ravens 24 Cardinals 24
I’m starting to think maybe Joe Flacco isn’t elite Yep, Flacco screwed the pooch by shaving his beard. The Ravens deserve what they get. Two birds. Who cares? Call it a tie