How Will The Vikings Choke Away This Season?

I would first like to congratulate the Minnesota Vikings on making the playoffs. That is their ultimate goal and they should be very proud. Since we are in the unfamiliar position of the Packers season being over but the Vikings still playing, what is a Packers fan to do? The answer: the enjoy the inevitable choke job that Vikings hold the right to.

Before I get into how they may choke away this season, let’s look back at some of my all time favorite Vikings choke jobs:

I will examine options for 3 different scenarios for each of the remaining rounds.

Divisional round

Fumble the Kneel Down

In a low scoring game, the Vikings defense shuts down the New Orleans and lead 6-0 in the fourth quarter at the two minute warning. With the Saints out of timeouts, all the Vikings have to do is kneel three times and they’re on to the NFC Championship game. 1st down kneel down. 2nd down; kneel down. Now there’s only 34 seconds left and all they need to do is take one more knee. Keenum takes the snap, but fumbles it and the Saints defense returns it for a touchdown. The Saints make the extra point because their kicker isn’t Blair Walsh and go on to win 7-6.

Choose to Kick in Overtime

Just like in their last playoff meeting, the game goes to overtime. Mike Zimmer, who’s crazy like a fox, tells his captains that if they win to choose to kick. His rationale is that his defense is so dominant that they will stop the Saints and then all they would need is a field goal to win. Of course, the Saints take the ball and march right down the field for a touchdown.

Realize Case Keenum is Their Quarterback

Do you ever spend all night drinking and you start to think you’re way more awesome than you actually are only to wake up and realizing you’re back to being your shitty self? That’s what’s happening here. As Keenum runs out to the huddle on their first drive, the whole team at once realises that “holy shit, Case Keenum is our quarterback” and proceed to get blown out at home.

NFC Championship Game

Zimmer Goes With Bradford Versus Eagles

The Vikings and Eagles both win setting a NFC Championship game in Philly for two of the worst franchises in the NFL. Something’s gotta give. Mike Zimmer goes with his gut and plays Sam Bradford in a revenge game to show the Eagles what a mistake they made in trading him for a first round pick. Bradford goes 22 of 25 for 18 yards and is praised for his 88% completion percentage in 38-3 loss.

Groundhog Day vs Falcons

It’s Groundhog Day in Minnesota. Just like in the ‘99 Championship Game, they are hosting the Falcons. Just like that game, they are up by 7 and just need a field goal to put it on ice. They miss the kick and the Falcons drive down the field for a score. In overtime, the Falcons stop the Vikings and get the ball and go down to kick a field goal and win 30-27.

Vikings Commit 6 Turnovers

Last time they made it to the NFC Championship Game, they committed 5 turnovers in a loss to  the Saints. This team is not to be outdone and commits 6 turnovers including throwing an interception with only seconds left when all they needed was a field goal. They lose 20-17.

Super Bowl

The Roof on Their New Building Collapses

The Vikings are set to be the first team ever to play a Super Bowl in their own stadium. The day before the big game, the roof collapses and has to move the game. The Vikings are so distraught, they come out lifeless and get blown out and show a whole new generation of fans what it’s like to lose in the Super Bowl.

Blow a 29-3 Lead vs the Patriots

No team could blow a lead like the Falcons did to the Patriots in last year’s Super Bowl, right? Vikings are like; hold my beer. They one up the Falcons by blow a 29-3 lead instead of 28-3. Tom Brady thinks their lead is “cute” and goes on to win 31-29.

Two Point Conversion Returned

In an incredible game and the Vikings down 24-19, Case Keenum leads a 90 yard scoring drive in the 4th quarter to give them a 1 point lead with under 10 seconds to play. Since the score put them up by 1 it makes sense to go for a two point conversion. Case Keenum channels his inner Russell Wilson and throws a terrible pass that gets picked off and returned for two points by the defense for the other team and they lose 26-25.

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